Fiona's Blog: Girls DO Ask - Why I'm No Longer Afraid to Hear the Word "No"
Dear Teachers, Future Employers, and Role Models,I’m writing to notify you that I am tired of waiting to get what I want. I will not let intimidation stand in the way of my goals. Instead, I have begun asking for things, and you should prepare yourselves, because I have very few limits.I know you’re probably surprised to hear these words from a teenage girl, since studies have shown that girls and women are less likely to ask for things they want—from paper extensions to promotions. In fact, I know that many of you are surprised, because of what some of you said to me after I posted my recent interview with Barnard College President, Debora Spar. Many of you asked how I knew her or who helped me get that interview.
The fact is I didn’t know Dr. Spar until the moment I walked into her office. I helped myself get that interview, when I worked up the nerve to ask for it.
You aren’t the only people surprised to hear that I’m asking for things. Recently, one of my close friends asked me how I managed to get an internship with a non-profit women’s organization. The answer, once again, was simple: I did the unexpected, and asked for it.Don’t get me wrong, I’ve sometimes found it difficult to gather the courage ask for what I want. But recently, I received a piece of information that I’d like to forward on to you all: The worst that can happen is someone says “no.”
It turns out, “no” isn’t that bad after all. I spent a lot of my life dreading the two-letter word that seemed to imply failure, but now I realize that failure is just a chance to do better next time, and “no” is just the 32nd most commonly said word in the English language.
I’m sharing this information with you because I will be approaching you for the rest of my life with questions. I will be speaking my mind instead of wishing you could read my thoughts. I’ll be asking for interviews, internships, paper extensions and promotions. But don’t worry—you can always say no, because I can handle it.I’m also sharing this information because you may want to use it in your own life. Everyone has dreams and goals, and it’s time we asked for them.You’ll be hearing from me soon!Warm Regards,FionaFiona is a high school junior, Girls Leadership Institute alumna and weekly guest blogger. Learn more about her work here.