Fiona's Blog: Where Does a Diet End & an Eating Disorder Begin?

Much like exercise, an altered diet can be healthy, but I think many women do not approach it for the right reasons. I’ve heard girls justify their diets by explaining that they just bought a new dress they want to fit into or that swimsuit season is around the corner. The realization that most women and girls who diet do so to maintain or achieve a specific body weight is extremely worrisome to me.Dieting is widespread, because there is a lot of pressure on us girls and women to look a certain way. As much as we can tell each other to “love our bodies” and “embrace our weight,” it’s nearly impossible to feel completely secure in the society we live in. I’ve always been aware of the drastic photoshopping in magazines and the scary eating disorders many models go through. My education has taught me about the fake and the too skinny, but it didn’t prepare me for the average insecurity that leads us girls to diet.  While, we frequently hear about actresses and models who have gone “too far,” we rarely hear analysis about those who are on the cusp.I have always had a large appetite—something friends lovingly tease me about and laugh at. I embrace it as a part of who I am. I remember when I was  younger, hearing mothers mention “diets,” but the full impact of what they were doing never truly sunk in. It is only now, at sixteen years old, after experiencing two friends with eating disorders, that I am aware of the number of women who diet.

I guess my question is: where does the diet stop and the eating disorder start? As I mentioned before, I have had two friends who have been diagnosed with “eating disorders.” However, I know plenty of girls who diet or exercise for the wrong reasons. Do we assume these girls are healthy because they do not appear emaciated?

My mother has always been an excellent female role-model, who demonstrated healthy, hearty eating habits. I was raised in a household where sweets were scarce, because (as I understood it), eating sweets can harm your intestines, your teeth, and your energy level. My earliest understanding of diets was that they were something older women engaged in. The only mention of them I ever heard was from other friends’ mothers.

Last year, I attended an event that honored inspiring women. The night revolved around a dinner, and most of the guests were female. I was astonished as I watched the powerful, professional, important women seated around me pick at their plates and take one bite of their desserts before leaving it for the waiter.

As a result of my somewhat unusual ability to consume large amounts of food (I like to think of it as a skill), I frequently have girls tell me they don’t understand how I can eat so much, and be the size I am. The fact is, I don’t lose or gain weight very easily. At barely 5’3”, I often wish I were taller and lankier, but no amount of dieting will make me grow five inches.I’ve learned to embrace a body type that is somewhat curvier than the prototype flat, angular model that magazines show me. This means that when and if I change my diet, it is entirely based on wanting to feel healthier, since I rarely lose a pound. I’ve learned that my body feels best when I regularly exercise, and my skin is clearest when I eat well. When I went away to camp last year, I disliked the food and found myself on a diet of French fries and ice cream. Clearly this wasn’t healthy. However, because I didn’t gain any noticeable weight, nobody commented on my diet.I think we need to question a society where health is often determined by size, especially in a world where people come in such a variety of shapes and weights. After reading a recent fbomb post about the normalization of eating disorders, it struck me that this is the eventual outcome of accepted dieting. We can only successfully battle eating disorders once we have recognized that dieting to be thin is not healthy and should not be recognized as normal, as it so frequently is. It’s a tall order, but maybe we can think healthy, without thinking skinny.Fiona Lowenstein is a high school junior, Girls Leadership Institute alumna, and weekly guest blogger. Learn more about her work here.