Dear Rachel: I'm Lying to a Guy About My Age. Should I Come Clean?
Dear Rachel,This weekend I'm going out on a date with a 22-year old guy I met on the beach a few days ago. I'm 15, but I told him I'm 17 (I know, that's a terrible thing to do) because he was so nice, cute, and seemed like such a good guy. I knew my real age would scare him away.My friends say it's okay to go out with him and see how it goes, maybe it's gonna be awful and I can let it go. But on the other hand, we had so much in common and I had a really good first impression of him, so what if the date goes great?I will have to tell him I lied eventually... I don't know what to do, please help!A Dear A.,I totally get why you would lie about your age. You were caught up in the moment and wanting to see him again. Plus, lying about your age is something you do when you're a teenager. I remember doing it, too. But there are consequences, depending on the kind of lie we tell and what happens afterwards. So let's talk look at that.A law known as the age of consent says fifteen is too young to be sexually active with a 22 year-old. The age of consent is "the minimum age at which a person is considered to be legally competent to consent to sexual acts." If you have not reached the age of consent in your state, or are not very close to it, your date could actually be arrested for being with you. I'm not trying to freak you out, but you should know this is the deal. Find out the age of consent in your state here.That's one big reason why you need to own up to your date about how old you are – at least before anything happens.
But even if you're not worried about age, you MUST come clean on the first date anyway. Remember, this is someone you may want to be close to. If you tell him quickly, your lie is still more of a white lie – a silly and impulsive thing you did to get a date. If more time goes by and you don't say anything, you seem like a serious liar who is willing to manipulate someone to get what you want. And I know you're not that.
No matter how casual you are with a person you like, don't mess around with honesty. Once you start lying, it gets easier to do it again and again. Think carefully about what to do here, and make a decision you can be proud of.Rachel(This post was originally published at teenvogue.com)