Fiona's Blog: Operation Scarlet - How Periods Prepare Girls for a Life of Covert Activity
Getting your period basically prepares you to be a secret agent. Okay, maybe not in terms of fancy Jason Bourne karate moves, but definitely in terms of super sneaky behavior, code language, and the ability to act like nothing's wrong. In other words, in addition to having the dramatic experience of suddenly bleeding from a very private area, girls getting their period have to learn how to hide the massive biological situation they're experiencing.There are a lot of tricks: the "slip-the-tampon-up-your-sleeve" manuever when walking to the bathroom, the "wrap-a-sweater-around-your-waist" trick when things have already gone a bit too far, or the "meaningful-glances-at-your-best-friend-right-after-saying-I-have-a-stomachache" tactic when you need to convey the confidential intel to another person. It all seems very necessary and meaningful, while you're in the midst of it, but at a certain age, it just begins to seem silly.That's what I realized today as I bent over my bag trying to perform a highly specialized operation in which I extricated a sanitary pad from the box it came in and sneakily stowed it away in a special zipper pouch of my purse, while keeping a lookout for any passersby, all the while attempting to make it look like I was simply fixing something in my purse. What can I say, I'm a pro. Anyway, while I was doing this, I realized something: it's all fine and dandy to get to perfect your Jason Bourne moves once a month, but is it really necessary?
Any middle school girl will tell you that, yes, it is EXTREMELY necessary. Getting your period was about the most mortifying experience any girl could imagine back then. Every day, we waited in fear that it would strike us!
At the very beginning, girls rarely even confided in each other. I remember finding out, months after it had first occurred, that my best friend had gotten her period and kept it a secret from me as well as from her own mother. Other girls I knew confided in one friend, and burst into tears when other people found out. Essentially, the biological thing that we all knew was going to happen to every one of us became one of the largest secrets a girl could have.As girls get older and mature, and periods become more common, the news over who's "gotten it" becomes less frequent and less interesting. Most girls become more comfortable talking to one another about it, and sometimes even mentioning the process in front of boys. But, do not be fooled, the secrecy continues in other ways. I remember the feeling of dread the day a boy began searching for a pencil in my purse and picked up the bag I keep tampons in instead. I am quite familiar with the feeling of panic that sets in when I realize at school that I've suddenly got to get to both a bathroom and a drugstore ASAP.
On the one hand, the panic comes from the fear that I'll, say, ruin my white pants. But even worse, it's that everyone will know I have my period! Um...because that will be surprising? Like, they'll all gather around and go, A woman with a period? Oh my! There is absolutely no logical reason for a period to warrant this big a deal. Yet, it does.
I have a friend at school who has this little case she keeps her pads and tampons in (we all do, right?) that says "Good Ol' Tampon Box" on the front in frilly, scripty letters. It's hilarious, partly because so many girls try and hide their periods, and partly because the box is so pretty and unassuming that she skips down the hallway with it to the bathroom without anyone giving her a second glance. In one way, I want a box like that, but on the other hand, the idea still makes me feel a little bit queasy.In a way, I guess I really shouldn't be surprised that our society makes girls feel ashamed of their periods. After all, we make girls feel ashamed of tons of stuff, like body hair and weight and their sexual experiences (whether they be vast or nonexistent). The fact is, puberty is no picnic, but personally, I think there’s plenty of other stuff to deal with (B.O., breakouts, unrequited crushes) without all the period-shaming going on.Fiona Lowenstein is a high school junior, Girls Leadership Institute alumna and weekly guest blogger. Learn more about her work here.