Guest Blog: The Myth of "More is Better"

From AP classes to sports, clubs and the performing arts, teens are busier than ever. Is more really better? This “busy-ness” is creating a culture of overextended teens struggling with a lack of sleep and focus.Working in a high school atmosphere, I see firsthand how young women especially are pushing themselves too hard on occasion. The pressure to be the most involved can be too great for some. Running in a million directions may make us seem invincible. "Look at me! I never sleep but I keep going!”In their book America’s Teenagers: Myths and Realities, Sharon Nichols and Thomas Good write, “While parents and educators argue for better academic achievement and higher standards, too few recognize that tired, overworked, and overextended teens will be hard-pressed to do well.”This is not to say that pushing teens to do their best work is a bad thing. It’s great to have parents, teachers, coaches and counselors who inspire you to maximize your potential. But the “more is better” lifestyle raises some long-term concerns to think about.Here are some of the myths about success, along with lessons to be learned:1. Doing more stuff makes me a better person. Do you measure your worth based upon how much stuff you do? Do you compare yourself to others? “What a loser – I only have one AP class, am in two clubs, and only play one sport!” This is an example of determination gone awry. If we value ourselves based on quantity, not quality, we are missing the mark. Being a healthy PERSON is as important as being active and involved. Grounded teens become sound adults. Ask yourself these questions for a quick reality check:What KIND of teammate am I? How do I show leadership in my school activities? How do I take pride in my school work?The Lesson: More isn’t better, it’s just more.2. I have to take as many AP classes as possible. This is a tricky one! Colleges look for good grades AND challenging courses. However, if you are barely pulling a B- in Pre-Calc, chances are AP Calculus is over your head. On the other hand, your masterful writing skills might make you a great candidate for AP English. Know your strengths and be honest with yourself about your limitations. These decisions require quality chats with a counselor and/or your parents. Yes, you want to do your best, but be realistic!The Lesson: Honesty is crucial for balance and long-term success.3. My parents will kill me if I don’t get straight A’s. Let’s be straight. Parents LOVE when you do well. Who didn’t love getting five bucks for that killer second grade report card? The key to this one is COMMUNICATION. Are you struggling with Bio and pulling a C? Instead of stalking the mailman to snag your report card, consider having a heart to heart with your parents. Try communicating with them as soon as you hit a bump. It might look something like this: “Mom, Dad, science just isn’t my thing. I have been going for extra help and trying to study more, but I feel lost. Can we talk about some suggestions to improve my grade?” While I can’t guarantee your parents’ reaction to this one, being proactive shows responsibility and maturity, and it earns trust.The Lesson: Anything is possible when you communicate!When I was a teenager, you might have called me lazy according to today’s standards. I participated in youth group, service projects, and I did theater productions. I was not in a lot of school clubs, nor did I play sports. I had a good group of friends and truly enjoyed everything I did. I went to college and am fortunate enough to say that I do what I love. As an educator, life coach, and entrepreneur I believe I have it all.Being honest with yourself, communicating, and making sound decisions are vital life skills. Conquer the “more is better” myth by developing and using these tools now. Take a breath and watch who you become! Do you have any other suggestions for battling this myth? Please add them here!