I am not a "C:" A High School Rant on Hating Physics, College Pressure, & Doing What Makes You Happy
By Julia Rudolph
I just cried more than I ever have in my entire life. I fell to the floor and sobbed in the fetal position while hyperventilating for an hour. No one had died, I hadn't been hurt, I hadn't fought with any friends.I found out I had a C- in my high school physics class.Now, I am sitting at my computer thinking about how angry I am that I let myself be so overwhelmed by the thought of the bad grade.Yes, a C- is not a great grade, it's not even good, but it doesn't define intelligence – or me. To give you some background so I don't just seem like a high school homework slacker...I'm a junior at a private school outside of Philadelphia. I've done over 25 theater productions since age 4. I play piano and study voice. I have been teaching myself to play guitar, ukulele, and mandolin. Essentially, I love all things art related. In school, I excel in English, History, and Spanish. Science has always been the bane of my adolescent existence.But enough about me. Back to the situation at hand, the dreaded C-.Just kidding...more exposition about the situation at hand.
In the past two weeks I have written roughly 30 pages worth of research papers and completed 4 Spanish assessments; I pulled 3 all nighters and had 5 energy drinks, 30 cups of tea, and 10 lattes; I clocked a 103 degree fever and took a round of antibiotics. Thus, no time for Physics.
Which just doesn't compute with me. I don’t get Physics, and I don’t like it. In class, we even talked about music the other day, but it just seemed so clinical. What does my wonderful Laura Marling song have to do with physics? When I listen, I don't care about wavelengths, amplitudes, frequencies, and equations. I care about how the song affects my thoughts and senses.Back to my meltdown. The minute I heard my dad say my teacher had emailed that the best grade I could receive this marking period was a C, I dropped to the floor. It felt as if someone had just shot me in the stomach.
The thoughts scurried between my ears. I can't get into college with a C. This will bring my whole GPA down. What will my college counselor think of me? What if other people in my grade find out I have a C? This means I'm stupid. This isn't fair, I missed 6 lectures because I was sick. What am I going to do? I won't be able to even apply to some colleges with a C. This is dictating the rest of my life. This has ruined my life.
WHAT WAS I THINKING? Yes, it's important to try your best in school and work and life and all that jazz, but it's also so incredibly important to be happy. I'm not a C, and I'm not going to let someone or some class tell me I am, either.I am Julia. I like music and art and chocolate cake at midnight. I'm passionate about books and literary analyses. I am NOT a C student. I am a hardworking student who struggles in science.So yes, this is still going to bug me. But in the scheme of things, a C is not going to affect who I am as a person.The amount of pressure teenage girls are under today to be perfect is disgusting. At my school, being smart is valued, and going to a "good" college makes you a "better" person. This isn't right. It is terrible that people are influencing girls to go to colleges to have a college name. Life is about doing what makes you happy (within reason of course).And I'm going to be honest. Physics does not make me happy. So I'm going to relax, try and raise my grade, listen to some music, have a piece of toast smothered in Nutella, and just live life. I don't want an A+ in physics. I want to enjoy the things I'm passionate about and be surrounded by people who respect that.Julia Rudolph is a high school junior at a private school outside of Philadelphia and a Girls Leadership Institute Alumna. She plans on attending a college that is the correct fit for her in the 2012-2013 school year.